Only a Mom

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On most days my first born little girl woke up happy. We would hear her in her crib just talking to herself and singing away, waiting for one of us to get up and start her day. But I remember one morning when I heard a different sound.  It wasn’t all the way to a cry, but it was definitely a sound of distress. As I approached the door, the smell announced that something was definitely wrong. And when I opened the door, there stood my fussing child absolutely covered in vomit- along with the crib, the wall, and the surrounding carpet. I’ll never forget her pitiful little voice telling me, “Mama, I had big burp!”

I will also never forget the great motherhood revelation I had that morning. As I looked on the mess, while taking in the awful smell, I had two thoughts. First, “Where’s my mom when I need her?” My mother can take on anything, and has rescued me from many of the messes I’ve faced in life. But she lives a thousand miles away. So my next thought was, “Do you realize there is no one else on the planet who can clean up this mess?” I could hear a voice prodding me on with the thought that only a mom could handle this mess, and I was the only mom this poor child had. I had to clean it up!

The revelation that morning has stuck with me- the great privilege and challenge that there is no one else on the planet who can be the mother of my children. That realization should guide my priorities and greatly impact how I choose to spend my days. Motherhood is one of my primary roles- a role that only I can play. Along with motherhood of course is my marriage, and also my other family relationships. Only I can be a sister, a daughter, a granddaughter. Secondary roles are those responsibilities that I have been called to, like my role with my job or at my church. It is an important role, but it is a role that another person could serve. (Someone else served it before me, and someone else will serve it after me). Keeping primary roles primary, and secondary roles secondary is the great challenge for all moms.

There has been a gradual, but major shift in our culture in the last 50 years devaluing the role of motherhood. Perhaps through the rise of feminism (when women demanded equality with men), or the legalizing of abortion (when motherhood became optional), motherhood no longer was held in such high regard. While progress has brought many more opportunities for women to be successful outside of the home, being successful inside the home has become progressively less important. I know this shift has impacted me, and my prayer is that I can strive to honor God first in my home, and second in the outside-of-home places He’s called me to serve. I’m the only mom my kiddos have, and that role has great value.

Motherhood is challenging, rewarding, confusing, fun and exhausting.

Motherhood is a great joy, yet brings great sorrows.

Motherhood is an adventure, always bringing something new.

Motherhood is a gift.

As we honor mothers this week, I am thankful for the woman who has served that primary role in my life. Only my mom has been there in my darkest moments and in my greatest joys. Only my mom has a sixth sense that tells her exactly when to call in a time of crisis. Only my mom would greatly love my husband and children, and encourage me to be the strong, loving mom for them that she has been to me.

May we greater value our roles as moms. May we see motherhood as the high calling which it is, with eternal rewards that far outweigh the messes we must clean along the way.  May we raise our little girls to look forward to and anticipate their roles as moms.  And may we pause at each day’s end to hear the voice, “Well done, good and faithful mom.”

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive your reward. You are serving the Lord Jesus Christ. Colossians. 3:23-24

 

Crucified with Christ

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Good Friday.

As a teen, I remember coming to the realization of the gravity, and really the gruesomeness, of the crucifixion of Christ and wondering why we call it Good Friday. It certainly didn’t seem good that Jesus was put to death on a cruel cross. It didn’t seem good that the One who had the week before paraded triumphantly through a crowd shouting “Hosanna!” was now laid bare to suffer before a crowd hurling insults. And it didn’t seem good that God’s One and Only Son bore the fullness of our sin and was separated from His Father in death.

Now later, I see the goodness- the very good-ness- of our Savior’s death. It is good that He would choose to take on our sin and once for all pay its penalty. It is good that the sacrifice of this sinless Lamb of God brought us righteousness and reconciliation with God.

God was pleased to have all His fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.  Colossians 1:19-20

Because He died for our sins, we are counted sinless before God- and that is good. It pleases God.

If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.  Matthew 16:24-25

Yes Jesus died for us, but He also asks us to follow Him in that dying. He invites us to die with Him- not in a literal dying as He did on the cross (though some will be called to pay the ultimate price for their faith), but He calls us to die to our sinful nature.

Those who belong to Jesus Christ have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires.  Galatians 5:24

Followers of Jesus crucify their sinful natures by (1) denying themselves, (2) taking up their cross, and (3) following Christ.

Denying myself- Clearly we sinners most naturally think of ourselves first. We like the world to revolve around me, myself, and I. Yet we are called to deny ourselves- for the sake of Christ. What I have found to be true through many different challenging circumstances, is that the Lord will set before me ways to learn to deny myself. Or as I call them, “flesh killers.” When I was planning a special “me” day shopping and getting a manicure, and my child turned up sick, He gracefully forced me to deny myself. When I thought I had a new direction, and my husband and friends agreed it was not right, I had to “kill the flesh” again.

While daily we face short-term interruptions and inconveniences that cause us to conform our will to His, many of us face “long-term flesh killers.” A chronic illness for parent or child, a child whose physical and emotional and mental needs are ongoing and long-term, a husband who is absent- either literally or figuratively. These extreme challenges force us to daily deny ourselves as they whittle away- sometimes gash away- the flesh within. I wonder if we can learn to welcome them more as we see their benefit in this war against self-centered sin.

Taking up my cross- As the cross was where our Lord suffered, so our cross represents the sufferings of this life that we are called upon to carry. He did not promise that we would be free from suffering, but promised rather to be with us through all the suffering that comes.

All in this world suffer much- in many different ways. What Christ promises, if we will deny ourselves, is the peace and the power to persevere. And in that we experience the joy of “sharing in His sufferings” (Philippians 2:10).

We can all think back through the most difficult seasons of our lives- and there we see God’s nearness was most evident. He is here in the hard. Though it would have been hard to say it then, I would not have traded those hard days, for in them I grew closer and more dependent on God. Lord, give us the faith to ask you- “Jesus bring the rain.”

Following Christ- Our Lord calls us to follow Him in daily Christ-likeness- in the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and faithfulness of His Spirit. (Galatians 5:22). His life as told in the gospels clearly displays this godly example. We are told in Romans 8:29, that we have been “predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son.” The beauty of sanctification is that Chris is making us more like Himself, and giving us a heart more ready to follow Him.

Denying myself. Taking up my cross. Following Christ. Here’s where I want the fullness of this Good Friday to settle into my mind and heart.

As we honor the crucifixion of Christ, may we join Him in the crucifixion of ourselves.

I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.   Galatians 2:20

 

Hope Surrenders to God’s Whisper

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Over the past two years, we have looked at hope- special hope- as it holds as an anchor for moms of children with many unique needs. We have seen that hope trusts and hope rejoices. And we have seen that hope surrenders- to God’s will, His way and His word. Now here we look at how hope allows us to surrender to His whisper. 

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”  Isaiah 30:21

 You’ve heard that voice before. In a moment of fear or uncertainty, you heard it. Or in chaos or confusion, it’s been there. In the loud, it has reached you. God’s whisper.

His Spirit comes near in our times of need and gently instructs us on how we should go. He speaks quietly, but clearly, to our souls, and we can choose to listen and obey, or go our own way.  With our hope secure in God, we can surrender to His whisper, even when it seems to go directly against our gut feeling.

The LORD said to Elijah, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.  1 Kings 19:11-12

 We sometimes look for God to come in the loud thunder of the wind, earthquake, or fire. Send me a sign, Lord! Yet, often He comes in a gentle whisper, speaking softly to our heart and mind to assure us of His presence and direct us in His peace.

Can we listen for that whisper- even in the loud we often find ourselves in? Crying kids, fighting kids, even just laughing kids, can be very loud- bringing on “mommy” headaches that can be excruciating. We know we have to keep our cool even the crazy, or else we will all lose it, right?

Susanna Wesley was the mother of famous preacher John Wesley in the late 1600s and early 1700s. She birthed 19 children of her own, though 9 of them died in childhood. She was responsible for managing the household and all of the children’s education. Talk about crazy!

Susanna is known for her very strong faith and commitment to God. In their small and crowded  home, she would make time to sit in her rocking chair and lift up her apron to cover her face. This was her “prayer closet” time, and all of the children knew to leave her alone for those important moments.

How can we follow this example? We can be committed to our quiet time with God, even in the chaos. We can intentionally listen for God’s whisper even in the noise. That may happen for just a moment in the bathroom (yes, you have the right to go to the bathroom by yourself!), in the shower or in your car once the kids are dropped off (you will be amazed at what you will hear if you’ll turn off the radio!).

My sheep listen to my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.  John 11:27

 Jesus is the Good Shepherd, laying down His life to protect and provide for His sheep. We can hear His voice if we’ll listen above the noise of the other sheep. We can know His voice, as it is very different from the voice of the world or of Satan who wants to steal, kill and destroy.  He knows us, and we can follow Him.

Susanna Wesley was a woman full of wisdom, and thankfully, much of it has been passed down through the generations. One quote of hers that I find especially encouraging is this one:

“I am content to fill a little space if God be glorified.”

What little space has he placed me in? What small voice is He speaking to me with? Have I tried to make life more grandiose, glamorous and complicated? Have I surrendered to the whisper of His will, His Word, and His ways?

When I surrender, there is serenity.

When I pause, there is peace.

When I believe, I am blessed.

When I stop wrestling, I can rest.

 

Calf Muscles and a Reminder of Who’s in Charge

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Last night my husband was out of town, and my son asked if he could “have a sleepover.” At 5 foot, 5 inches tall and fourteen years old, he still loves sleeping in our bed when one of us is away. I love that!  Around 3:00am, I got up to let the dog out, and as I crawled back in bed, there was a very long, bony leg that had stretched over on to my side of the bed. That thing was hard! And big! As I grabbed ahold of his calf muscle to move the leg back to his side, I had a flashback that brought me to tears.

See, when Zach was about two weeks old, we flew to a family reunion. On that trip, I carried him in my front pack baby carrier (which, by the way, we had not had for baby daughters 1 and 2, but my goodness, did it come in handy for baby #3!). I very clearly remember wrapping my thumb and first finger around his teeny, tiny little calf muscle. My finger went around his leg and nearly as tight as it could get back to my thumb to encircle the calf. I asked God in that moment to help me always remember how little that leg was- and how little my son had begun.

The Lord was faithful to answer that prayer last night as my same thumb and first finger can no longer come even close to touching around that calf muscle. It is bigger and stronger, and runs faster and jumps higher.

And I have had absolutely nothing to do with it.

Now, of course, we have provided our son with food, clothing and shelter needed to grow. But I have not put any effort or resource into growing that calf muscle. God has just done it!

And isn’t it by God’s grace that we have provided the food, clothing and shelter anyway?

It is God who works in you to will and act according to His good pleasure. Philippians 2:19

 God is the Creator- and He is still faithfully working to shape my son into the man He made Him to be. He is working in him to grow him physically and spiritually and intellectually and emotionally. GOD is doing that, not me.

It is God who works in my son to will and act according to His good pleasure.

We as moms are pretty good “control freaks.” We are good at working hard to keep everything in control. We work to control our family’s schedule, our family’s meals, our family’s behavior and our family’s appearance. But we are also pretty good at forgetting who’s really in charge.

Last night as I held that giant leg, once so tiny in my fingers, I was reminded of who’s really in charge. God created my son just as he was born- fearfully and wonderfully made, knit together in his mother’s womb (Psalm 139: 13-14). And God is still the One working in Him to grow Him exactly how He has ordained. He invites me to be a part of this process, but I need to remember that this child is not mine to grow. He is God’s.

Of course, not one of my children is perfect- from a human perspective. Each has their unique challenges and weaknesses, strengths and gifts. Their uniqueness-es serve only to more magnificently glorify the great creative Creator. My power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). They also serve as reminders of who is in control- and who is not.

How can we better remember that God is in charge- working His will in our children’s lives?

Reflect on the past and the progress that has been made. Think back on where you were a year ago, five years ago, or where you were when your child was born. How has he or she made progress- even if only small steps- in the last week, month and year? Look at old pictures and reminisce together. Most importantly, look for God’s touch, His presence, along this journey- and give Him great thanks and praise!

Ponder the possibilities and dream big for what is to come. You know better than anyone else what all is packed inside each of your children. Imagine where God is headed with that! Don’t miss the forest for the trees. Glance ahead to the beautiful unfolding of all God brought this chosen child here to be and do.

And pause to be thankful and content for what is. Still your heart from all the rush and stress daily living can often bring, and be thankful. Make a list of things you’re thankful for today- even the littlest things. Rejoice always, pray continuously, and give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (2 Corinthians 5:16-18).

I’m so thankful God is in charge- and I am not. There is a deep peace that comes in the surrendering of my way, my control, my plan, to His. His is far better than I can imagine. He has wisdom and power and resources beyond all human knowing. And He is working all on our behalf- for our good and for His glory.

Take this scripture and fill in the name of your child- and remember God is working in him or her. (You can also try plugging in the name of your husband, or your frustrating coworker or family member, or anyone whom you need to remember is in God’s hand too).

It is God who works in ______to will and act according to His good purposes. Philippians 2:19

You Came!

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Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, because He has come!  Luke 1:68

He didn’t leave us here alone. He came!

A long-awaited father returns from war. A surprise guest makes it in for a special performance. A far-away grandparent travels in for a holiday. You came!

When we were scheduled to deliver our first-born daughter, we had this romantic idea that we wanted to do the whole birthing process by ourselves. Our mothers had both come in town, but we had politely asked them to stay home until the baby had come and we were ready for guests.

We did pretty well- for a while. But then the baby went into to distress, and I was really struggling to push through to deliver her. The doctor told us we would need to do an emergency C-section. As a first-time mom, I was scared to death! I remember tears streaming down my cheeks as I laid there with all the tubes and monitors on me, contractions still coming, completely frightened. (I’m guessing my husband was as afraid as I was in that moment too). Then, by God’s moving alone (since this was before cell phones), the door to our room swung open, and my mom walked in. She and my mother-in-law had decided to sneak on down to the hospital against our wishes, but what a saving grace they were for both of us.

I remember the rush of emotions when my mom appeared. All my fears released, and so did a greater flow of tears. I was relieved that we didn’t have to do this alone. I was comforted by her presence. Oh, thank God, you came!

The angel told Joseph to name the son Mary would bear Jesus, “because He will save His people from their sins.” (Matthew 1:21). He came as a Savior- on a rescue mission to save the people He loved from the pain and fear of their sins. He knew they couldn’t do it on their own- as much as they may have thought they could. For years, the people had tried. Then, “when the fullness of time appeared,” He came!

At the beginning of His ministry, Jesus proclaimed prophecy from Isaiah, which put forth the true purpose of His coming.

The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because He has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners, and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.  Luke 4:18-19

He came to preach good news to the poor. Good news brings hope. And hope pulls the hurting forward one small step at a time. “The people walking in darkness have seen a great light.” (Isaiah 9:2).

He came to proclaim freedom for the prisoners. Imagine the cold, dark, lonely, harsh conditions of an ancient prison. Imagine many that exist today, where captives are held by religious and political conflict. And then imagine the rush of a rescue mission making it in to set the captive free. Scripture tells us we were enslaved to our sin, held captive by our shame and fears, our pride and our hurts. But then our Rescuer, the promised Redeemer, made it in to set us free. He came!

He came to proclaim recovery of sight for the blind. I’ve been blessed with good vision, but my middle-aged eyes are beginning to fail at close distances- and it is really quite frustrating. I can’t imagine the frustrations and fears of total blindness. As my reading glasses bring clarity, surely the recovery of sight for the blind brings immeasurable healing and freedom and direction. We were blind in our sin- and He came with recovery. I believe some of the best clarity He brings is a greater glimpse of all that He is as Redeemer, and Wonderful Counselor, Almighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince of peace. (Isaiah 9:6)

He came to release the oppressed. One of the dictionary definitions of “oppressed” is “to make someone feel sad or worried for a long period of time.” God’s people had surely been sad and worried for the long period of time when He was silent. It’s hard to hold on to hope when the waiting goes on and on, without an end in sight. But Jesus came to release that waiting and renew the hope. The souls of the released leap into their restored freedom.

The sun of righteousness will rise with healing in His wings, and you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall.  Malachi 4:2

He came to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor. The angel and the great company of the heavenly host proclaimed to the shepherds,

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth, peace to men, on whom His favor rests.  Luke 2:14

As I taught first graders this week, the word “favor” makes me think of “favorite.” The favor of God rests on us- His favorite children- because His Son has come to make us His own. He is due all the glory in heaven- and we are blessed with His peace here on earth. We are no longer under the curse of our sin, no longer slaves to our former selves, we have been set free in the year of the Lord’s favor.

This Christmas, may we be more aware of the lonely and dark, hurting place we were before Christ came into our lives. Not to further add shame but to greater realize the thrill of His coming.

I was alone. I was lost. I was restless to find peace on my own.

I was poor, blind and captive.  But then you came!

Oh, thank God, you came!

Let Moms Receive Their King

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CrownonGround           

It’s become almost embarrassing. The first three notes of the first Christmas song rolled out as Advent begins never fail to send me straight to tears. Big tears. Sometimes almost to a full-on sob. It’s that time of year again.

It’s those songs again.

It’s the celebration of the arrival of my Savior again. And that’s what makes me cry- and keep on crying. He came for us.

Each year it seems a different lyric will really get to me. Usually it’s in the lines of “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing”- as that one has so much rich theology in it. But this week, it came to me in “Joy to the World.”

Joy to the World- the Lord is come! Let earth receive her king

Let every heart prepare him room, And heaven and nature sing

Let earth receive her king.

In that, I seemed to hear, let Lori receive her king.  What would it look like for me to truly receive my king? There are several dictionary definitions for “receive”- all which seem to apply.

  1. To assimilate through the mind or senses
  2. To permit to enter- to admit
  3. To accept as authoritative, true or accurate- to believe
  4. To welcome, to greet

How can I assimilate through my mind the King of kings? Will I give Him permission to enter my heart and have admittance into my life? Will I accept Him as authoritative and true- will I believe? Is my heart open to welcome and greet Him upon His arrival?

As busy moms, so often caught in the urgency of daily living, struggling just to get by, we can take these next few weeks to prepare to receive the King again into our lives. Reflect afresh on the radical coming of this Great King- His quiet invasion to redeem our broken world.

Receive His peace. Isaiah’s prophecy called Him “Prince of Peace.” And it went on to say, “Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end.” (Isaiah 9:6-7). With His reign, Jesus offers His people peace. Under His rule, we can find rest. He longs for us to cease struggling and battling on our own, and instead, receive His peace, letting Him wage the wars for us. As Mary held her infant Son, she knew His peace. The world in turmoil surrounded them, but she knew peace. We too can know that peace as we behold our Prince of Peace.

Receive His freedom. “He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners.” (Luke 4:18) Jesus came to bring freedom, yet so many of us live in bondage. We live shackled to our fears and failures, our issues and insecurities. We hang out in the prison cells whose locks Christ opened long ago. Twila Paris sings the line “Even we who call His name so often miss the treasure.” Yes, we who call His name often miss the treasure of the freedom He was sent to proclaim. When we receive Him as King, we must also receive the fullness of the freedom He provides for His children. Daughters of the King, our shackles have been released.

Receive His reign. If He is the King of me, I have to consciously choose to place Him on the throne of my life every day. I have to choose to live under His authority, and give Him charge of my daily decisions and circumstances. As the dictionary definition says, it is a decision to “accept as authoritative, true and accurate, and to believe.” It is a decision that begins with believing that He is a capable King, and that He is a good King. We know He is capable because He is the Creator of all. He has the authority to protect and to provide for that which He made. And we know He is a good King. His purposes are always for His glory and my good (and my good is always to draw back to His glory). We know He is good because He sent His Only Son- “He so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son.” (John 3:16).

The line that follows after “Let earth receive her king” is a challenging one.

Let every heart prepare Him room.

How can I make room in my heart to receive the King? I think it starts with a good clearing out of pride- “I can do it by myself” and “I don’t need anyone to help me.” We need to clear out fear and trust this King with everything. And we need to clear out bitterness that often grows over time and settles into stay.

Will you receive your King this Christmas? Will you receive His peace and freedom? Will you give Him full reign over your life and the lives of your children?

To all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God.  John 1:12

As we receive Him, we are given the right to become His children.

We are daughters of the King.  Let heaven and nature sing!

Not What I Expected

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pregnant-woman-outsideParenting has not been what I expected.

I expected that I would roll smoothly into this new role as a mother, and begin to flourish in my new life of caring for this precious newborn child. What I didn’t expect was to learn how self-centered I was, and to become aware of how much of my motivation was to make me, myself and I look good. I had to completely switch gears, and turn my focus onto this little one who needed constant care. She began to draw me away from thinking only of myself, and that has been harder on some days than on others.

I expected to be able to implement ideas from our multiple positive parenting classes and produce perfectly-behaved children. I naively expected these discipline formulas to work flawlessly as the children began to assert their own wills contrary to mine. What I didn’t expect is that each personality and each behavior challenge and each situation would be different, and would require a different set of words and actions in response from me. What I didn’t expect is that some times that would go well, and other times it would be a complete disaster. I had to learn to give my children and myself a lot more grace to grow, and I had to rely more fully on the guidance of the Holy Spirit. (My favorite parenting verse is John 14:26, “The Holy Spirit will teach you all things.)

I expected to bring a child into this world who would be healthy physically. What I didn’t expect is that she would be critically-ill and need major surgery just 8 days in. Or that her younger sister would have ongoing health and growth challenges. Or that their younger brother would need two sets of stitches in one week when he was only 2 years old. Or that their younger sister would need glasses. (And of course this list goes on…). No, I didn’t expect all the physical and mental health challenges we have faced. I didn’t anticipate how thankful we would be for health insurance. And as I pause to reflect on this, I guess I was not accounting for the fact that these four that I’ve been entrusted with were born into the same broken world that I was. And as much as I hate watching them hurt or struggle and face these difficulties in their lives, I know as God has been with me, so will He be with them to be the peace in the midst of the hard. As He is my Healer and Helper, I pray He will continue to be that even more for my children.

I expected that my husband, my parents, my friends and neighbors would always be there to support me on my motherhood journey, and that we would all be like-minded and share the same priorities. Since “it takes a village,” I looked forward to teaming up in harmony with the other adults in our world to raise these kids up right. What I didn’t expect was that we wouldn’t always agree on what is best for them, and things that are really important to me may not always be important to others. I can now testify to how much I’ve learned from others’ perspective, and also to how many times I’ve had to press in to hear God’s voice among the others to be faithful to what He has called me to do for my family.

And I also didn’t expect how much of this journey I would walk alone. Many times in raising my children I am the only adult around. And in those times I have to dig deeper to parent in a way that pleases God alone- my audience of One. Yes, wiping dirty bottoms, cleaning up vomit, caring for a sleepless child in the middle of the night, are all times my motivation and integrity are tested. Who will I be when no one is watching me? But, oh yes, there is someone watching me. God Himself is there- but also each of the four sets of eyes in my care are watching me too.

The expectations I had at the front end of motherhood were limited at best, and at times just flat out “off.” While some of those expectations were broken into disappointment, still many others have been surpassed with the surprise blessings that have come along the way. I didn’t expect that watching a child sleep (as newborns, and even now as teenagers) would bring such peace to my heart. I didn’t expect the full joy that would come wearing preschooler-made Mother’s Day jewelry. I didn’t expect the deep warmth of a child’s hug (and sometimes a slobbery kiss!). And I didn’t expect the relief and gratitude that comes with a doctor’s “We’re making progress.”

Watching each one grow, at their own pace, in their own strengths and challenges, physically and emotionally and spiritually, has been a great adventure. And true, it hasn’t been what I expected.

It has been so much more.

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him.  2 Corinthians 2:9

Blown-Out Tires and God’s Great Undisturbedness

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flattireMy husband was a hero today. A back tire on our vehicle blew out with a loud bang and a sharp pull to the left that could have sent us all out of control. We could have swerved out into the speeding oncoming traffic or the other way into the concrete barrier. But we didn’t- because Chris stayed calm. He didn’t panic but rather maintained composure, and brought us slowly to a safe stopping place off the main road. From all appearances, He was undisturbed by the sudden crisis. And in this “undisturbedness,” my husband commanded control of the situation and responded with wisdom. He chose peace instead of panic.

I was reminded immediately of God’s great undisturbedness. When we face any sudden crisis, we can either look at the frightening circumstance and panic, or we can look up to our Great King who is seated on His heavenly throne and find peace. When we see Him there, reigning over all, we see His great undisturbedness. As unexpected as the crisis is to us, the One who set time in motion, and is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8), has not been caught off guard. And if we will allow Him to, He will command control of the situation and respond with wisdom. And He will help us choose peace instead of panic.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

When did you last have a blown-out tire? When did your world blow apart with unexpected news or injury or illness? What crisis has sent you into panic? Can you look back now and see how God was there- He was with you and He was working good even through the hardest time? Or are you still waiting for Him to make sense of it all?

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, and who have been called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son. Romans 8:28-29

If we believe that the promises of God are true, then we can be sure that each crisis that comes is ultimately working in us a greater good than we can know in the immediate experience. We can look back upon His faithfulness through past crises, and trust Him to be faithful for this one, and for all the ones that are yet to come. These are all part of His growth plan to conform us to the likeness of His Son. We can look into His great undisturbedness, and find the peace and wisdom and strength needed to wisely navigate through another life storm.

As a kid, my dad taught us the “3 C’s”- He taught us to stay “calm, cool, and collected” in stressful situations. He taught us to not panic (or at least try our hardest not too), because things only get worse when we panic. It helped me not to panic knowing my dad was nearby to help. And now as an adult, it helps me not to panic knowing God is always nearby to help.

God will not temporarily take a break from his throne and let the world spin out of control. Do we believe that He is Lord of all- or do we think things happen that catch Him off guard? Everything that comes to His children has come through the fold of His hands around each of our lives. Nothing slips by Him, but rather in all things God is working for the good of those who love Him.

Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. The Lord Almighty is with us.  Psalm 46:10-11

Be still and know that I am God. Be still and know that I am the Lord of Lords and King of Kings, and I am in control. Be still and know that I am undisturbed by what is happening in your life. Be still and know that I am working all for your good and for my glory.

Don’t panic. Stay calm, cool, and collected. Look for my peace to guard your heart and my wisdom to direct your path.

Be still.

And know that I am God.

Hope Surrenders to God’s Ways

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BeachWomanWe have seen that hope surrenders to God’s will and God’s Word. Now we will look at how hope surrenders to God’s ways.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”  Isaiah 55:8-9

I would have chosen an entirely different plan for my life. I think most of us would have.  I had a different career, family structure, and location in mind as I headed into adulthood over twenty years ago. And while there are certainly some things I would have had to go differently, I can fully say that I am glad God worked His way in my life, so different than my own. His ways have been much higher, and much better, than mine ever could have been. I am so thankful His ways have won out.

I see several reasons God’s ways are better than ours:

Our view is limited- His view is limitless. God in His omniscience knows all. He is El Roi, the God who sees, and His lookout is high above the earth. The expression, “You can’t see the forest for the trees,” speaks to our limited view, but God is way above the forest and He sees all.

Our perspective is temporary- His is eternal. The God who set time in motion is outside of time in existence Himself. Therefore, His perspective is from everlasting to everlasting, from generation to generation. His ways move according to an eternal plan, not a temporary one which we create.  He sets time in motion, and wills events to happen that will far outlast this life- all for His glory and our good.

Our purpose is local- His is global. We are prone to self-centered thinking, set on our own situation, wanting the best for us and for those near to us. Yet God’s purpose is to bring the world to know Him. He can orchestrate circumstances in a small village in Africa to coincide with a major city in Asia and a rural community in Montana.

I am the LORD and there is no other, apart from me there is no God, so that from the rising of the sun to the place of its setting, men may know that there is none besides me. I am the LORD and there is no other. I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster, I the LORD do all these things. .. Concerning things to come, do you question me about my children, or give me orders about the works of my hands?  Isaiah 45:5-7, 11

We are wise to surrender to God’s ways. He is the LORD, and there is no other. He is worthy of our trust and hope. We may look upon our challenges with our children and question His ways, yet He has proven Himself faithful.  We will find lasting peace and increased strength when we accept His ways, and surrender to His working in our lives.

Sometimes it is helpful for my faith when something happens that is totally out of my control. A child runs a fever, my car won’t start, the dishwasher breaks, the school is closed. These are things not in my plan, but clearly in God’s. His ways are not my ways. His ways are better than my ways.

But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things- and the things that are not- to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before Him.  1 Corinthians 1:27-29

God’s ways are not like ours, and for that we can be glad. His wisdom is not like ours. His work is not like ours. And His worthiness is not like ours. Let us surrender to His ways as they work in our lives- and there let us find our hope.

Thankful for Dads

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DadandLori1

I woke up this morning 750 miles away from my Dad. For the last 20 years, I have worked to celebrate him on Father’s Day, usually from my far away adult world, while also celebrating the great dad that my husband is to our family. The more years that pass, the more I realize what a gift I have in my dad. I realize that his faithfulness, kindness and unconditional love are rare. And I realize that his character has helped me better understand the character of God.

I’m thankful for years of special memories- hiking the Colorado mountains, fishing New Mexico streams, cross-country camper trips to my Grammy’s house, and always seeing him in the stands for my volleyball games. My dad was present, and very active in our lives. (And he still is). He took time to pass along wisdom and life tips to my sister and me. (And he still does). He always knew what to do in a crisis, and he always told too many “punny” jokes. For all he gave, and all he shared, and all he taught, I am very thankful.

Years ago I was in a Bible Study that looked at the influence our earthly fathers have on our understanding of our Heavenly Father. We filled out a chart with lots of characteristics, both positive and negative, and checked those that described our earthly dad. Then we turned the page and did the same for how we view God. And then on the third page, we laid the two sets of answers on top of each other. It was so insightful to see how similar the two lists were. People who had angry fathers tended to see God as angry, or people who had strong fathers tended to see God as strong, etc.

I am thankful for my own father, who wasn’t perfect, but had many God-like characteristics for me to experience, and for so many fathers I see that are living out the love, strength, wisdom and closeness of God for their families.

Thankful for dads who play. Dads are usually better than moms at play time- or at least that has been my experience. Dads communicate a lot of love through teasing and wrestling and joking and giggling. Moms tend to be more preoccupied with the “serious” things and taking care of all the details for daily living. Playing dads teach us to be happy and joyful, and not take life or ourselves too seriously.

May the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful.  Psalm 68:3

Thankful for dads who pray. Dads who set an example and lead out spiritually for their families teach more by their actions, than by their wise words. Guiding their children with wisdom they have sought from God, and extending God-like compassion and grace, set a life-long impression of their Heavenly Father.

Fathers, do not exasperate your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.  Ephesians 6:4

Thankful for dads who stay. Several years ago I helped our church start an outreach for parents of children with special needs. I was expecting moms and dads to come, and share an encouraging Bible Study, and support one another on this hard journey. What I didn’t expect though, was that the parents who came would be primarily single mothers. Single moms raising one or more children with special needs on their own. Yes, I had read of the high divorce rates of these families, but I didn’t want to believe dads could actually leave their wives and children with so many challenges. Yet it happens more often than not.

Two things I would like to say in light of this. First, if you are a dad who is staying, thank you. And if you are a wife of a dad who is staying, be thankful. Be very thankful. Press in close to God for strength and cling tightly to each other through the hard. You will display the faithfulness of God as you do.

Second, if you are a mother raising children on your own, you too can press in close to God for strength. He is your perfect Heavenly Father, and He is that for your children. He loves each of them more than you do, and promises to take care of their every need. My God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:19

God is your heavenly husband: For your Maker is your husband, the LORD Almighty is His name. Isaiah 54:5 (Read the whole chapter for more promises).

God is their heavenly father: A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows. Psalm 68:8

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!  I John 3:1

As we honor fathers on Father’s Day, let’s be thankful for the dads who have been a part of our lives and our children’s lives. And let’s work to  trust our Heavenly Father to heal our hurts and meet our unmet needs with his perfect Fatherly love, compassion and care.

Is He not your Father, your Creator, who made you and formed you?  Deuteronomy 32:6

The LORD Himself goes before you and will be with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.  Deuteronomy 31:8